Memories from Africa

In high school there was a song popular by a band called Monday Morning called Wonder of it All. In the song they are talking about expectations, hurts, plans in the past and they say, "I wonder where I'll be next year." Crazy how every year can look so different. This was my year last year.
Since I don't live near my dear mwanrokorakas ('sisters' in Makua), it seems more distant and surreal that I lived in Africa for ten months. Those were challenging but incredibly beautiful days, weeks and months. I look back at pictures and my heart is full. So, for your pleasure, (and mine) here are some memories.

 Hannah and I were psyched to find a real, live chameleon. Disregard the fact that we practically stepped on it before Paulo made us stop and turn around to actually see it!

 Devotions in Makua with the pastors and workers.

 The women de-husking rice. Its strenuous but they laugh and talk the whole time. They were joyful and content to be together working.

 Isabelli. She was so loving and joyful.

 Sunrise on the way to food distribution in Tauane.

 Celestino on the playground.

 Alberto and Manel. Father and son. Sweet, godly men.

 Dominica and Anatercia on their way to distribute things to the foster homes. We loved spending time with them.

 Rachide. He was one of the favorites. Ok, they all were.

 Nelson gave us a friendship coconut. Obviously Ashlynn is beside herself with excitement.

 Americo distributing corn to the women.

 Going to church.

 Fred measuring out salt for distribution.

The guys would carry the corn sacks on their head to a different location and the women and children would separate it into smaller amounts to carry on their heads sometimes as far as several miles to their homes.

Ashlynn and baby Daniel when he was still a small baby.

Daniel when he was not such a small baby. But he's SO adorable!

 Filomena, Fatima and Dominca.

 Bertino carrying farina after distribution.

 Dolar with his firewood.

 Baby felix.

 The dorm boys clearing the meringa field. They recruited us to help. I know they couldn't have completed that field without us.

Bertino, Ashlynn and I.

So I don't know where I'll be next year. I know this year looks really different than last year did. But I am thankful for the experiences, lessons and opportunities that God has given. I look forward to it with eager anticipation and pray that I would make the most of every day.

The Same Old, but Not (Thoughts from five months at home)

August 2015
Wow. I've been home now for almost five months. It all seems surreal. If you've ever travelled overseas you understand that it's a struggle to fit back into your life that you had before you left.
I spent ten months in Africa. Living in a brick building with concrete floor, screens for windows with a wooden shutter that we only closed when we left town. No fans, we walked pretty much everywhere. We wore the same four outfits in rotation and mostly the same pair of flip flops or we were barefoot. (Oops, don't tell Brenda about the barefoot part! )
I had two wonderful roommates, Hannah who was there for three months, and Ashlynn who was with me for all but the first six weeks. We were inseperable and God planned that aspect out perfectly for us, we never had any disagreeements and we each others biggest encouragers and best friends.
We had internet minus a few month blocks of time. Our internet capabilities were much better than I expected them to be. However, there were several times that we wanted to skype our families and the internet was unavailable. Those were the only tears we ever shed over technology. There was something nice about talking in real life to our new Mozambican friends who lived very near to us, reading books and having deep conversations with roommates.
There was a whole new aspect in my relationship with God when He was the only one I could hope in. I was in a strange and new place where I only spoke their second language partially and knew a few words in their first language. But what a beautiful thing to worship Him together. To know that we pray to the same God and that He loves us all the same. Their joy was inspiring. If they can praise God with such meager resources, with sickness and death so close to them every day, why am I so slow to do so.
Ashlynn and I started a 'thankful' exercise that every day we would choose three things that we were especially thankful for that day. Even on the hardest of days we could find things to thank Him for even if it was that we didn't have to carry our water for showers--Rachide, the guard did, or the chocolate bon bons that we could buy at the market for ten cents. Or Alferes' giggle during English class. Whatever the case, He had given us such beautiful gifts, we sometimes had to look harder for them, past the frustrations of the day.
So now I look at my life that I left, I'm back in the same place but it feels so different. I spent a few months in Ohio babysitting and hanging out with my sister and helping her get ready for her wedding. It was nice to relax and catch up with some old friends along the way. Four weeks ago I came back to Texas. I came back to my job as a receptionist, working with the same people I am living in the same bedroom, for now, and hanging out with the same people, plus a few new ones. But it feels so different. I feel so different. I miss my Mozambican family. Some days are really hard to reconcile this life with the life I had a year ago.
When I'm eating three meals a day plus snacks, I remember that for some kids, two meals of rice and beans is 'good eating.' When I'm driving to work, arriving 20 miles away in 20 minutes, I remember that some people would ride their bike, with their wife and baby sitting on the back twenty miles in several hours to get to their field so they could work in it all day so they would have food in three months. When I go to the grocery store with endless supplies, I remember the shops in the market with three options, all of which were pricey for the locals. When I see people glued to their phones, I remember that we talked in real life, struggling to get our point across but laughing together and feeling so content that we were becoming better friends through the challenge.
So, friends and family, thanks for being patient with me. Remember that coming home is hard. I missed you, I love you, but I don't know exactly how to find my new normal. To be completely present but always mindful of what I have learned and who I came to be. Pray for me as I navigate the best place to be and to serve. And as always, I'm incredibly greateful for you all.

Thinking of Mozambique

Wow, its been a very long time since I wrote a post on this blog. Partially because I was catching up on life in America and this is a blog for my Mozambican experiences and partially I don't even know where to start with my thoughts and understanding of that time against the backdrop of my current place in life.

It seems surreal that this was me ten months ago. It seems like yesterday and forever ago at the same time. There are so many things that I miss.

It would be an understatement to say that I miss my dear, dear Mozambican family. That was a hard goodbye and is hard to think that I'll never see them again this side of heaven. We shared so many sweet times together. Playing soccer, participating in dance rehearsal for church, cooking together, playing hopscotch, teaching English and learning Makua, etc. etc.

I miss the simple but real interactions. The genuine smiles. The complete attention during conversation that was undistracted by technology. I remember one of the ten year old boys coming down to the warehouse to get some rice for his home. The men that worked at the warehouse knew his name and were joking around with him as if they were uncles or his father--which he didn't have. It was one of my favorite memories because those guys cared and I could see on that little boys face that he was happy to be included. I guess its a universil thing that we just want to be known and included, right?

I miss church. I miss the joy on each person's face as they sang those songs at the top of their lungs and danced and clapped. I miss the kids grabbing my hand and pulling me out of the aisle to dance with them. One day one of the mothers tied her foster son on my back. I felt accepted and like a true Mozambicana at that moment and I was elated.

I miss the morning AWANA program every day. Playing with the kids and cheering them on and then joining in as we sang and Carlitos Jorge gave the lesson. He cared for those kids in a fatherly way; I know they knew that he cared. 

It seems like simple and genuine interaction is a recurring theme. It is. It is a much more rare here. Myself included. I often have an agenda in my conversations or I'm not listening because I'm planning what I'm going to say next.

I miss wearing the same four outfits everyday. Seriously. I loved those outfits and its so much simpler! We dressed like the people and they seemed to love it. Especially when my hair was braided in cornrows, I would get a lot of compliments!

In retrospect, its been a crazy adjustment back to life here. Trying to reconcile my life there with the one I had/have here. There have been lots of tears and frustrations and joy. I'm thankful for family and friends who have listened to countless Mozambican memories while listening and encouraging me as I adjust to what it looks like to be an American again and adjust to the culture here.

So while that was a beautiful, awesome experience. This one is too, I just have to have eyes to see the people around me. They also need someone to genuinely care for them. There are a few more things in process, but those will be discussed in a later post...

Que Deus os abençoe

Gender roles here--it's not what you think

Gender roles are very set here so there is no question as to what job is whose responsibility.
For example: 
A woman's job it not to kill a chicken--it's the man's. But it is a woman's job to cook it. In other provinces women do kill chickens, just not in Cabo Delgado. 
It is the man's job to drive the bicycle--often with one or more passengers. And also they drive motorcycles and fix them when they break too. Only recently have the "liberated" women starting driving bikes and motos. And let me tell you, it's super hard to get on one when wearing a capalana.
Sewing, go figure, is a man's job. The women won't do it because a sewing machine is just that, a machine. They are the old fashioned kind of machine with the foot pump.
Working a maxamba is a job for men and women. They don't have plows, tillers or tractors. Everything is done with a hoe with a two foot long handle. It's backbreaking work and long hours which is yet another reason they are so buff.
And it's a woman's job to pilar (grind) the corn, de-hull the rice and do all the cooking. The pilão is a heavy wood trunk about two feet tall. About 8 inches makes up the stand and the other 1 & 1/2 foot of trunk is hollowed out and they use a four foot long heavy stick to pound the food inside if the pilão. (It's hard to explain, but believe me, it's really intense work that they do every single day Atleast once a day). No one grinds the corn into flour too far in advance because it's more likely to get bugs in it or to mold. 

Oh Boy

Kids are so impressionable.
And it's amazing how much they seek approval. I guess it's a lifelong thing. But I was reminded how big of a part I can play in that by encouraging the good.
I have talked before about my four favorites: Dinis, Momade, Pedro and Pedrito. They do not have birth parents and maybe because of previous life experiences, maybe because of personality, maybe for other reasons, they are underdogs. They are troublemakers but with their smiles could get away with a lot.
There are a lot of kids that could fit in this description, maybe we just don't always know their stories. But they just need someone to encourage them, to give a pat on the back and even a scolding every once in a while.
And I think I have underestimated the power of the opposite gender. Now that I think about it, guys would do a lot to get the attention of a girl, right? And it doesn't always matter if it's because he is trying to impress her to eventually see if he could convince her to go out with him. Guys want to please their moms, their aunts, their grandmas. They want to please their nice teachers, usually girls. They want to please friends and maybe even their friends' big sisters. Maybe that's an exaggeration, but maybe not. Depends on how cool get big sisters are.
Today Nelito was doing pull-ups on the playground. He was the only one even close to the playground. As soon as I walked over, no joke, less than thirty seconds and there were 15 elementary age boys all trying to squeeze on the pull-up bar or doing the monkey bars and looking to see if I noticed.
I need to take advantage of this power! In a good way, of course! Now that I know that they want me to be pleased with them, I need to be more intentional about speaking well of others, of encouraging fair play, of being kind and encouraging intellect--aka school attendance and grades! We have guessed that some kids come to church simply to watch the white girls sing and attempt to dance. So, girls, use your influence for good. Guys, make sure the girls you are seeking approval from are girls of character, morality and integrity.
"And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works" Hebrews 10:24

For a Good Read

Allow me to do a book review.

The Dirks Escape
C. Brandon Rimmer
Jeremy Books
1978

This is the true story of the journey of a man and his family as they escape from the Holocaust. Yes, the Holocaust has always interested me. It's a horrifying part of history which as horrible as it was, could happen again with the decisions and attitudes of modern culture. With the individualistic, "I look out for number one, I can't be responsible for anyone else' attitude. This book shows the past but also warns about the future. As you read you will evaluate culture and your role in it. Here is a quote from Gerhard Dirks to further motivate you to read this. And to motivate you further, I'll put a link so you can order it.

"Sometimes we do learn from history. I believe that history is repeating itself. But let me tell you something about looking back. You look back and remember things that you did and regret doing. That is bad, but not as bad as something else. The worst is what you didn't do and regret not doing--that is what hurts. You don't realize at the time how important it is...
"Such things are most important, for by doing nothing, the day comes when you share in the guilt of those who did actively wrong. You share not just in the blame, you share in the guilt, too, but that you did not see at the time.
"...the organized and dedicated minority, in the end, dominates the inept majority. You find yourself going along. Then you, too, are guilty. You always wonder, 'had I spoken, had it acted, would hints have been different?' It will always haunt you...
"The problem is like a programmed computer. A man programs himself by his deep desires--maybe he's not even aware of some of he,--by his environment, and by the sum total of all previous decisions. It is true, there can be more--but in those days I didn't know that. So, we see most people like machines putting together an answer to a questionable me the answer is the product of what has gone before and has been stored, consciously and subconsciously.
This is why it is so important in our culture here in America today, to see what goes into our young people, from their entertainment, from their education. Is there much that makes for what you might call 'standing power'? The input that makes possible a real choice? I don't think so. The things hat happened in pre-nazi Germany are beginning to happen here in this country.
"First, there is a question about how can something be right and something else be wrong? We are or old that moral absolutes are all nonsense. White becomes gray and black becomes gray. You cannot expect a computer to come up with the correct answer if you have excluded from the input necessary information. You cannot expect a young person to stand openly for what is right when everything that gives him input, all his culture, it's entertainment, it's news and it's educational system, are based on a theory of relative values. The information needed to make one stand up against social pressures, the reason for standing, is being programmed out of the young human machine in America.
It is not good." (Quote from Gerhard Dirks, The Dirks Escape pp37-39)

 If you want to order it, go here

Esperança=Hope

Maybe like me you read the news and become saddened by the headlines. Murder, abuse, scandal: evil. Lots of it. It seems that sometimes the only "good news" is that the Spurs won. That's depressing. I would guess that a lot of Christians just shake their heads at "this sinful place" and assure themselves that the rapture will happen soon and we won't have to endure this anymore. Maybe. I would concur that these world events along with this list of evil things fit the end times scenarios given in the Bible. But I don't believe that shaking our heads while looking at the sky for our escape is the right thing either. So I have been in Mozambique for several months with on and off internet availability. When I do have internet access, the news headlines are overwhelming. When you go from being in America, to being away and then looking back in, it's a while new and huge culture shock. This isn't life as it was supposed to be. It's the curse of sin. Satan loves chaos, pain and evil. But, guess what, he is not the winner. He has been defeated! If you read the letters from the apostle Paul, he had a lot to say about the situation we Christians find ourselves in today; How we should conduct ourselves. And it doesn't have anything to do with hiding out, ignoring what's going on or pretending that it's normal. "Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving side by side for the faith of the gospel, and not frightened in anything by your opponents...for it has been granted to you that for the sake of Christ you should not only believe in Him but also suffer for His sake." Phil 1:27-30 Over and over he challenges the church to be strong. To persevere. To endure hardships as a good soldier, we get the picture. Let's keep reminding ourselves of that! We have Hope. The greatest Hope and His name is Jesus. A friend spent some time in Asia and said that whenever she met a Christian she knew it before they even said it. All she had to do was look at their faces and you could see the hope. That's beautiful. But if we know Jesus, we have that hope too! This madness is not the ultimate reality for us. God came as a baby. He lived among us to know us. So that we could relate and so that we could know that He understands! I am reminded of my favorite Christmas hymn: 1. Come, thou long expected Jesus, born to set thy people free; from our fears and sins release us, let us find our rest in thee. Israel's strength and consolation, hope of all the earth thou art; dear desire of every nation, joy of every longing heart. 2. Born thy people to deliver, born a child and yet a King, born to reign in us forever, now thy gracious kingdom bring. By thine own eternal spirit rule in all our hearts alone; by thine all sufficient merit, raise us to thy glorious throne. Come, Thou Long-Expected Jesus By: Charles Wesley So what? Here is my challenge to me and anyone else willing to take it: Don't be afraid to do what is right or to stand out. But I didn't say it first, God did. Just read the book of Joshua. If something is wrong, say it. Don't get pushed into popular opinion. I also say this because it's a prayer of mine. I have not said things when I know I should have but I resolve to be a better ambassador for Christ when it comes to that. And we might suffer, we probably will. But I bet it's going to be worth it when we stand before God, in heaven, about to face eternity, and hear those glorious words, "well done good and faithful servant." That would be way better than receiving approval from mere humans in this temporary life on earth And maybe I don't fully understand all of these things . I'm sure that what I read in the headlines doesn't even scratch the surface of everything that is really going on. It's a bit overwhelming. What can I do? What can we as the church do? I know where I need to start and it's on my knees. I need Him to help me know what I am dealing with. I want Him to give me His heart for His people. The "bad" ones and the "good" ones. And then I want Him to give me a job. How do I combat this madness? Who are the people that I can show hope to? I could sit here and say, "man, I'm so glad that I got out of that place!" But I can't. That's home. Those are people who God loves. Some are throwing their lives away and some are having their lives thrown away. It's a mess. And if we wouldn't consider ourselves to be in one of those categories, it is ONLY by the grace of God! And we should be doing all we can to show God's love and to help bring redemption to those who are in those categories, it's our job! "Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23